What Should I Carry In My Wallet?

Click here to watch this great video from DailyCandy. Alexa von Tobel from LearnVest.com tells us what you should carry in your wallet. I need to put a pic of my cat in mine....

Making Moving Easier Step III

Step #3: Edit + Sort

Now that you have a idea of how you want to live and an idea of the new space itself, it's time to go through your things. This is so you get reacquainted with what you have, edit out (donate, sell, give away, recycle, and/or trash) what's not adding to your life, and get things sorted so you can move onto the next step, mapping out the new space! Plus the less you have, the less you have to move.

EDITING: I believe our things are tools to help us live the lives we want to live. Ask yourself "does keeping this inhibit or enable me to live the life I want to live?". Don't get rid of something just for the sake of it, or because you haven't used it in X amount of time. Keep things you'll actually use (even if only once a year) and are worth the 'cost' of keeping; we pay by square foot here in NYC, so we literally pay to store things in our apts.

SORTING: Group like things together; all kitchen stuff, office supplies, clothes, tools, batteries, vases, etc. A key concept to being organized, this also helps you edit. Example: seeing a vase on it's own, it's hard to know whether to keep it, but seeing all your 15 vases together you can see maybe it's time to let go of a few. Use shopping bags or designate surfaces for each category and use labels to keep things straight (believe me, it helps!).

It's never too soon to do this as it can take quite some time depending on how much you're starting with.

(click bolded text for more details)

Reader Comment I Needed to Comment On...

(photo: dave lauridsen; dwell via unhappy hipsters)

AilanthusAltissima said...

"I wish I could get to the point that you have. I do realize that things don't make me happy, but I still wish I could figure out how to get rid of more things and not regret it. Things are getting better (slowly) as I work on it. I love reading your blog..."

My approach is about long-term change which takes time. No one can do it overnight, I certainly didn't. As far as not regretting things you've edited; when in doubt, don't. When you force yourself to edit you make mistakes. Make your immediate decisions first; things you KNOW you don't want or need, then go on from there. My philosophy is about doing things for a reason. Not just because of some arbitrary statement. It needs to be meaningful to you and your life. And there are things you can archive. For example, if I have a piece of clothing that fits me, fit's my overall style but maybe I just wore it a lot and am now sick of it, it get's put away until the next season. No reason to get rid of it...

Maybe you're having a hard time because you're having a hard time with something else in your life that needs your attention. It's a common theme I've seen over the years. If that is the case, give your self a break from organizing/editing and focus on the real issue. Otherwise, you'll keep going in circles torturing yourself!

Reader's Questions: My Story of 'Living Better With Less'

I've been working on creating video for the blog but haven't gotten it to the point I'm happy with it so back to posting!!

Amanda asks "I would be interested in hearing more about how you saw the connection between your 'over-shopping' and the sense of order that you have found. Thanks!"

As you may know, while I'm naturally neat and organized, I'm a shopaholic. And while my over-shopping is under control, I have to work to keep it that way. Here's how I did it...

Before I became a PO, living in my first apt, there was a moment I looked around and thought "All these things I buy are supposed to make me happy, but the reality is they don't. I hate my apt; it doesn't reflect me or how I want to live and I'm embarrassed to have friends over. I hate my wardrobe; I don't have a strong sense of style and even though I have lots of clothes, I have nothing to wear. I hate my bank account; it's drained from buying all these things!"

I realized it's not the AMOUNT of things, it's about having the RIGHT things, so I stopped shopping and started thinking. If I could figure out how I want my apartment to look, feel, and function, then I should only take things into my life that help me accomplish that. That 'things' should be seen as tools to help me live the life I want, and not just stuff or buy or fill up a space.

Once I changed the way I saw the things coming into my life, I buy much less, but I also hardly ever return anything (common practice before) and have very little to give away at the end of the year when doing spring cleaning. I have less but love and use just about everything I have!

Why Are You Holding On? Case #3

Case #3:

Misc reasons people hold onto things they aren't actually using/enjoying. Shocker alert: sometimes it's a GOOD reason to keep something, I don't believe in getting rid of things just for the sake of it. I believe in people having an honest dialogue with themselves to make the right decision for them. Helping people (re-)learn to listen to their gut, figuring out how they really want to live so they can surround themselves with the things that will allow them to do it.

EXAMPLES:

>It needs to be fixed...

How long has it been waiting to be repaired and how has your life been without it. How much will it be to repair it? If it's clothes to be tailored, try it on to make sure you still like it.

>It's a good thing to have...

Sure, it's good to have extra candles and a small battery operated radio in case of an emergency or blackout, but do you need tons of specialty camping gear when you haven't been camping in 10 years and don't see yourself doing it again anytime soon?

>I'm saving it for when I live in a bigger space...

Ok, if you realistically think you'll live in a bigger place, you'll actually use it, and it's worth the cost of storing then moving it. But if there's something you'd like to do someday, why not now? Like have a tea party? Or learn to cook? I encourage people to live the life they want NOW!

>It's an extra...

This is definitely where I push the 'how much would it cost to replace over how much it costs you to store it'. Keeping some cheap old toaster on the off chance your current toaster is going to break isn't a great reason, especially if you live in a small apt and you have to store it under your bed. If something is expensive or a hard to get item, then it may be worth holding onto.

>So and so gave it to me (or it was a gift)...

A. Stop it from coming in: Ask that person (nicely) that gives you things that you feel 'I guess I have to keep it' not to give you gifts anymore (did this with my mom, it's now a funny joke in my family). Or ask instead of gifts, you enjoy time together. For kids, start a savings acct and ask people to give to your child's future instead of cluttering up their present.

B. Keeping the right stuff: People keep things for 'show' in case they see the person again, I say use your own judgement. If you'll never see the person again and don't have a ton of emotional attachment to it, then pass it on to someone who will love it by donating, selling or giving it to someone you know.

>It's from my (family member)...

If you have something from a family member that you don't really love but feel guilty getting rid of, think about if there's another family member that would like it. If not, do you really think that the person who passed this down to you would be happy knowing that it's become burden to you? If you don't have the space, can't repurpose it in any creative way, then it's time to seriously think about passing it along to someone else.

Why Are You Holding On? Case #2 (part II)

Case #2:

Wife, mother of two young girls. Lives in a good size apt, has done a nice job of setting the place up but can improve some areas. The main issue is being more conscious about what comes in and getting a routine system for getting things out.

This post will show you some of her real responses for how/why she has a hard time editing and getting things out of the home.

"Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good", a brilliant observation by Voltaire. Perfectionism is something that I see quite often as a reason so many people don't get things done. Check out The Happiness Project's great post on this topic.

EXAMPLES:

>I don't like the idea of going though my children's things without them, but when I try to do it with them, they get upset and don't want to let go of much.

Be age-appropriate when editing; under two years of age is generally fine to do without them, but use your discretion. Kids are hyper-observant of what you're thinking and feeling more than what you're saying. You've admitted you're uneasy about editing your own things so they sense that and mirror your emotions. Once you become comfortable with the idea of letting things go as part of life, they will become more comfortable with it. Editing should be a routine thing done at the same time every year, a good time is right before you know there are going to be a lot of new things coming in; around the holidays or birthdays.

I highly encourage parents to involve their kids in the editing process (at an appropriate age), and explain to them why you're doing it and where the things will eventually go. Most kids want to help and 'do good'. If you explain to them that the toys or clothes will go to another child who needs it, they may be more motivated to do it. Use your judgement; if you think your child is too young or sensitive about hearing about children in need, than phrase it in a way you're comfortable.

>My husband and I aren't completely sure we're not going to have another child. Should we save the clothes and toys our kids have outgrown in case we do? Same question for maternity clothes.

Good question! Same answer for both: edit out of things you don't like or didn't use and keep a manageable amount of things in case you need them for the future. Whatever you keep should be cleaned and stored in a way that will be easy for you to find when/if the time comes to use it (dividing by age is the best way). When/if you decide you won't have more children, donate them to a good cause.

>My lifestyle has changed after having two kids and I don't spend as much money on clothes as I used to. I have a hard time editing the clothes I have from my life 'before' because even though I don't really wear them anymore, I feel like if I get rid of the nice cashmere sweater I don't really wear now, I can't afford to buy a new one when I may want it again.

I don't advocate getting rid of things for the sake of it, or if you haven't worn/used it in X amount of time. If you have clothes that are too nice to wear around young kids but you still like, they still fit you and your image, keep but archive them. Clean and pack them up nicely for when you can wear them in the future. You should pack them away so they aren't taking up valuable space in your drawers or closet which should be for your everyday things. Keep a few pieces out for date nights, special events, or when you have adult time (if you don't have any adult time, maybe it's time to get some). Edit out anything you don't like and wouldn't wear now if you could. You could also downgrade certain pieces; wear things in a more casual way than you did before so you can enjoy them now.

>I have a hard time getting rid of things I've spent a lot of money on even if I honestly have no use for it now.

Don't let guilt force you to keep something that isn't adding to your life in some way. Nothing in life is a mistake if you learn from it. We've all spent too much on something, it happens, oh well! Try not to do it again. Try to sell it if you think you may get a decent amount for it. Just remember when trying to sell things, think about how much time and effort it will take to do so and how much you will get in return. Sometimes it's better just to get the write off when you donate it.

>I get stopped with certain things that I know I want to get rid of. I really want to make sure they go to good home rather than just donating it or selling it on craigslist.

You are not responsible for finding the perfect home for something you're already given a life to. You are responsible to make a good home and take the best care of your family and to yourself, not to your things! You bought your dining table on craigslist, did you know the person who sold it to you? Didn't you give it a good home? If it were one or two items you were talking about, I would say ok, but you have bags of things that need to go out that you KNOW you're just bringing to a local church and you barely have time to do that. It's these little tasks that you think are easy enough but they add up to where you are now, with piles of things that never get done...

Why Are You Holding On? Case #2 (part I)

Case #2:

Wife, mother of two young girls. Lives in a good size apt, has done a nice job of setting the place up but can improve some areas. The main issue is being more conscious about what comes in and getting a routine system for getting things out.

This post will show you some of her real responses for how/why excessive things come into the home and how she can stop it. Tomorrow's post will focus on why she has a hard time editing.

The main thing to remember is that things should be seen as tools that help you live the life you want to live. That your things should add to life not take over it! Be conscious about what you take in and you'll have less to deal with at home. It's hard at first, but it's just a habit to get into; think before buying/taking...

EXAMPLES:

>I love the look of joy on my child's face when I buy her a little something when we're out. I really just want to make them happy. Though I will admit when we get home it usually ends up at the bottom of some drawer never to be seen again...

Relationships are more important than material things. No object is more important than the time and love you share with your family. Children need love, affection, and attention not more stuff.

>So many people offer me their outgrown clothes and toys for my kids. I pretty much take everything, cause I feel bad saying no, but after going though it, if and when I finally get to it that is, there's usually only a few things that I would actually keep.

You're allowed to say no when someone offers you something, whether it's a friend with kid's clothes, or free gift with purchase at the make-up counter. You pay for things in more ways than money; you pay in time, energy, and space. And I don't know anyone (especially a mother of two living in nyc) who has extra time, energy, or space! Yes sometimes it's nice to take things these kinds of 'gifts', but at this point you shouldn't take anything until you've gone through the bags and bags you've already have.

>Toys are always coming in, especially at birthday time, help!?

For children who are old enough, get them involved in non-profit organizations or charity. Instead of asking for gifts you can take donations, and instead of giving gift bags you make a small donation. You can still get your child a gift and give it to them before, during, or after the party. Tell people not to bring gifts for kids 1-2 years. The child doesn't know the difference anyway. I know parents who wrap up toys a child hasn't really played with so they 'at least have something to open', which while I don't love the idea of the whole 'something to open' part, it's a pretty good idea.

Why Are You Holding On? Case #1

So much of what I do is figuring out why clients hold onto things. This week, I'm going to address some of the common reasons and the method to work past them. If you haven't noticed, I believe in keeping things simple, but don't focus on quick fixes. I believe in going a little deeper but also not constantly reinventing the wheel for every situation in life.

3 STEPS TO LETTING GO:

- Identify the origin of the behavior, feeling, or tendency so you can release ownership of it.

- Understand you don't have the power to stop the thoughts in your head but you do have the power to control your response to them.

- Anticipate the feelings and thoughts that stop you from doing something you want to do so you can prepare your response. Write them down and keep them accesible so you have them on hand when you need them.

3 MAIN THINGS TO REMEMBER:

- Figure out what's most important to you in life, and how you want to live in your space.

- The things in your life should be seen as tools to help you live the life you want to live.

- You don't have to (nor should you) entertain every thought that comes into your head.

CASE #1

Recent college grad who moved across the country with a tendency to hoard. We identified that her hoarding tendencies were passed down from her parents. She felt much better knowing that it's usually passed on to children.

After much discussion, she nows has a good idea of how she wants to dress, feel and function in her space. She knows this may change over time but for now, she has a direction that is suited for her. Acknowledging that she tends to hold onto things, and knowing that doing so is not helping her to live the way she wants to live, is the most powerful tool she has against falling trap to her old ways.

Electronics Recycling is Back in NYC!

The Lower East Side Ecology Center is having electronics recycling events throughout NYC this spring. Drop off your unwanted electronics at any of these locations.

Residential waste only, they won't accept commercial waste. There's no limit to how much stuff you can bring. Items they accept: Computers (laptops & desktops, servers, mainframes) Monitors Printers, scanners, fax-machines, copiers Network devices (routers, hubs, modems, etc.) Peripherals (keyboards, mice, cables, etc.) Components (hard drives, CD-ROMs, circuit boards, etc ) TVs, VCRs, & DVD Players Audio-visual equipment Cell phones, pagers, PDAs Telecommunication (phones, answering machines, etc.) MANHATTAN March 28th 10am - 4pm Union Square @ 17th St and Broadway April 10th 10am - 4pm Tekserve @ 119 W 23rd St, Chelsea April 18th 10am - 4pm Morningside Park, Morningside Ave between 113th and 114th St Harlem

ROOSEVELT ISLAND April 3rd 10am - 4pm Good Shepherd Plaza @ 543 Main St Roosevelt Island

BROOKLYN April 17th 10am - 4pm Habana Outpost @ South Portland Ave and Fulton St Fort Greene April 25th 10am - 4pm PS 29 School Yard @ Baltic St between Henry and Clinton St Cobble Hill

QUEENS April 11th 10am - 4pm Travers Park @ 78th St between Northern Blvd and 34th Ave Jackson Hghts

Don't forget to erase your personal data on your computers beforehand. For PC's check out this great video from PC World. Mac users try these instructions from U of Delaware.

Reader's Questions: Childhood Memorabilia

(OK, this shot has nothing to do with the topic, i just really like it.

Interior by Brad Ford, you know his blog, check out his flickr)

Jess asks "Hi! I have a question relating to keeping childhood memorabilia. I am 25, and my mom recently gave me all of my childhood papers, artwork, etc. I have ruthlessly been going through it, but I get stumped up. It would just sit in a tub of storage if I keep it, but I don't want to erase all of my childhood memories. My husband also has several totes of his childhood/high school memorabilia. Do you have any suggestions? I also struggle with what to do with the doll crib and high chair (larger items) that were mine. Keep for a little girl someday? Or will she be into her own things? They are in good condition. Thanks for any advise on this!"

First, don't let anyone else put THEIR feelings of how much and what personal memorabilia YOU should keep (and vice versa, a common mistake with spouses). Some people can't bear to part with anything from their past, while others like me keep very little. You need to figure out where you fit in the spectrum.

I don't believe that by editing down your memorabilia all your childhood memories magically disappear. It's fun to see pictures we drew and report cards from grade school, but is it necessary to keep ALL of them? Keep the ones that get more of an emotional response then others. As far as the big stuff, think of this way; is it something you can properly store (keeping it clean and functioning) for the amount of time you'd need to in order to pass on to someone that may not love it as much as you did? If you do decide to let it go, take a few pictures of it beforehand so you can see it again when you like. And you must feel good about passing along something to someone NOW who will make just as many happy memories with it. Getting rid of something from your past is not disrespecting the past, sometimes it's a matter of clearing some room in your home and mind for new memories and new energy to come in.

Deciding to keep or discard something is much easier when you let go of the idea that you HAVE to get rid of anything. Take that pressure off yourself for now. People lose momentum when editing when they stop making decisions; go through piece by piece saying definitely keep, definitely toss (or donate, sell, recycle) and when you get to something you're unsure of simply put in a 'maybe pile', move on until all immediate decisions are done and THEN tackle the leftover items.

One more note. Not all of your memorabilia has to be boxed up and put away. For the things you don't necessarily want out for everyone to see, why not hang on the inside of a closet door, back of a cabinet, or in the bathroom?

I hope this helps!

Living Better With Less... Getting to the Root of the Problem

(nebb frames by sol moscot)

Have you ever hated everything you own? That's how I've felt for the past few weeks, more like months, about my entire wardrobe. Holding back from going on a major shopping spree (well, my wallet's been holding me back more than sheer will power) allowed me time to think about what I'm really unhappy with, and I realized it's my glasses. I had a pair that broke a year ago that were my favorite pair ever. I wore them for five years and when they broke tried to replace them with a similar pair but never love LOVED them. The 2 pairs above are the ones I just got and am crazy about them! Having them, now my wardrobe doesn't look so bad after all...

The point is we all go through periods where we hate everything we own. The key is to step back and try to identify what the main problem is before taking any drastic measures. For example, maybe you just need to replace your coffee table instead of getting all new furniture. Have you ever had a similar experience?

Living Better With Less... Reinventing the Wheel

(stefano tonchi home office courtesy of the selby)

I often tell people when organizing a space, it's not necessary to reinvent the wheel for every area or thing you're organizing. I apply the same general guidelines to everything I do with a few minor changes.

For instance, in the bathroom keep your regularly used products in the medicine cabinet for easy access and extras (or oversized everyday products) and not so often used things in the lower vanity. Apply the same logic to your home office; there's no reason to keep 50 pens and pencils and four reams of paper on your desk (unless you seriously use that much). Depending on how much storage space you have and how you work, keep a small kit near you: extra pens, pencils, eraser, stapler, and whatever else you need to function on a day to day basis, with any extras somewhere else and replenish as needed. If you find you're constantly replenishing then store more in your easy access spot. Personally I keep my extras in the kitchen cabinet...

Making Decisions: The Editing Process

Having moved twice in the past year and a half, I've been going through everything I own again and again, editing and re-editing. Some may call me a minimalist, and while I don't consider myself one, at this point in my life I'm pushing to get as close to that as possible...

I follow these key points when editing:

• don't force the decision on whether to keep something or not; this takes the pressure off and allows you to think freely and more honest on how you use or don't use things
• make immediate decisions first (things you have no doubt what to do with)
• don't box the things you're unsure of in closets, cabinets, and/or hide them behind furniture, allowing yourself to forget about it
• keep all the things you're unsure of out in a designated area of your home so you have to look at it, if you have a lot, pull out a few things at a time so you're not overwhelmed

As I see these things everyday (remember I'm in a studio, I see ALL my things everyday!) I gain a new perspective on them and I've actually kept a few things I was close to getting rid of and donated a lot more than I thought I would; kept a large frame I haven't used for years (pic above - I'm now looking for a cool print to put in it and I still need to repaint the back wall) and donated a lot of clothes and books that no longer spoke to me. Since I'm allowing myself to take my time with the process, I'm very happy with all the decisions I've made, so far no regrets :O)

Top Organizing Mistakes

(marble cheese plate on radiator)

(candle holders, magnetic spice tins, misc smalls as chic storage in the medicine cabinet)

Here are some of the most common mistakes people make when trying to organize:

GENERAL

• having no overall plan or idea for the space in question
• over thinking a decision; make immediate decisions first, when you're unsure of something keep it to the side until the answer reveals itself

PRODUCTS

• buying storage products before editing; many times clients need few or no new products to complete a project, either they've edited out enough so their existing storage pieces are now adequate and/or we figure a way to reuse and repurpose existing pieces in a new way
• buying storage without having a specific purpose for it
• not taking measurements of the area, closet, and/or shelf you're buying something for

EDITING

• not seeing beyond what something is; I ask clients who edit on their own between sessions to keep things on the side they want to get rid of so I can show them new uses for things like using a small plate or dish for soap and sponges in kitchen, using boxes in drawers as dividers...
• editing blind; having no overall plan gives you no guidelines to help decide whether to keep something or not

Reader's Questions: Organizing The Past

(image courtesy of the artist chantal powell's flickr page. be sure to check out her website and her blog)

g.c. asks "I'm curious to know your opinion on the matter of keeping old love letters and letters from people who are no longer a part of your life. My bag includes letters from a former friend (who betrayed me), as well as former beaus. Aside from two of the beaus with whom I've stayed distant friends, I have no contact with the others. Part of me wants to keep them all, as they are a log of my past loves. However, I wonder what purpose that serves? I could justify keeping everything because 'it's just one piece of paper or one letter', but times that by 100 -- and you've got quite a stack of paper!"

My philosophy is to only take and keep things in your home that you love, use, and that add to your life in some way. There are so many things we can't control, things that make us feel bad, but we can control what we surround ourselves with in our home.

I suggest keeping only the things that bring back positive memories, or elicit some kind of a positive response. After time, memories become detached from certain physical things and contact with them doesn't bring up any memories - those things should be easy to let go of. As for the those that bring up bad memories I personally don't see any reason to keep them. Forgive, let go and move on.

I will add (as with anything else in your home), you may not be ready to let go of it and maybe that's ok. Keep it until you are, unless you believe that by holding onto it you are holding onto the pain which is affecting you in some way. Then this is a good time to go through the process of letting go. Some people burn old letters and things as a way to cleanse themselves or whatever... I just recycle them!

Thanks for the question :O)

How to Get Your Paperwork In Order

Step #3. Sort Into Current, Reference, Archive

Here are some examples of what falls into each category and a few more reasons to keep/toss...

1. CURRENT - papers accessed often

• MONTHLY HOUSEHOLD BILLS: unless you're writing things off, only keep the past month or get online/paperless bills (go to their website to register for this) so you can check your previous payment has been applied properly and there are no other mistakes.

• RECEIPTS: keep debit and credit card receipts to check against statements; recent purchases in case you want to return; for warranty purposes; anything for tax and/or insurance purposes.
  

• MONTHLY BANK AND CREDIT CARD STATEMENTS: check against your receipts for mistakes and/or fraudulent charges, then shred any receipts you don't need to keep and either file away the statements (if needed for tax purposes) or shred accordingly. Get online/paperless statements especially if you don't need to keep for tax purposes.

2. REFERENCE - papers accessed somewhat often

• INSPIRATION: home, travel, fashion...
  

• ARTICLES TO READ
  

• MANUALS: make sure you only keeping manuals for things you actually have.

• LEGAL: passports, social security card, titles, ect

3. ARCHIVE - papers that need to be kept but not accessed often, or at all

• PAST YEARS TAXES: some use the previous year's taxes but the rest can be boxed and put away.
  

• LEGAL: anything that's settled and most likely not needed to be accessed.